This is part 2 of Making Friends by Andrew Matthew (self development book). I find his book really inspiring. If u feel the same way too then do urself a favor to read it. The book have many more eg and elaboration that will make u understand better :D
Chapter 2: Sorting Yourself Out
1. The distance we keep. Quit playing games. No one can make it all alone, though sometimes we fake it. We pretend we can. But there are no prizes for spending a lifetime playing games saying, "I m ok. I dont need anyone." Jane think, "i would call bob up but i dont want to let him think i like him." Bob thinks, "i am mad about Jane but i could never tell her." They spend weekend themselves, proud and lonely. There is no shame in finding someone else to be attractive or good company. But u tell yourself that I DONT WANT TO BE HURT... Sure u MIGHT b shattered but keep it in mind that we give everything we had.
2. YOU DECIDE HOW U FEEL. Misery is contagious. Sometimes people will even insist that you should be depressed. Eg my house are burgled and some cash are gone. After initial upsetting realisation that my house are burgled, i refuse to let the burgler wreck my day. But guess wat is the biggest prob? Other ppl want me to feel depressed. My fren Jim found out and insist that i shd be disturbed. "I heard ur house are burgled. You must feel terrible". I said, "Jim u heard we are burgled and i guess u noe all the facts. U also noe that i like to put unpleasantness behind me as soon as i can, so thk u for ur concern and let me tell u abt something much more intersting......" Jim in turn tell more of my frens and they in turn gave the same reaction as Jim. Often others mean well but manage to help u feel worse. IT IS UP TO U TO DECIDE HOW YOU FEEL. Have u been working all day and someone say, "gee u must be tired!" Being tired is the last thing on ur mind till u are reminded. Ppl will tell u frm time to time, "U shd be upset," "Times are tough," "Life is a bummer," "Work is a pain in the neck." Tell yourself quietly, "That is their reality, and i respect it, and i may choose to talk with them about it - but i refuse to adopt it. I CHOOSE HOW I FEEL
Chapter 2: Sorting Yourself Out
1. The distance we keep. Quit playing games. No one can make it all alone, though sometimes we fake it. We pretend we can. But there are no prizes for spending a lifetime playing games saying, "I m ok. I dont need anyone." Jane think, "i would call bob up but i dont want to let him think i like him." Bob thinks, "i am mad about Jane but i could never tell her." They spend weekend themselves, proud and lonely. There is no shame in finding someone else to be attractive or good company. But u tell yourself that I DONT WANT TO BE HURT... Sure u MIGHT b shattered but keep it in mind that we give everything we had.
2. YOU DECIDE HOW U FEEL. Misery is contagious. Sometimes people will even insist that you should be depressed. Eg my house are burgled and some cash are gone. After initial upsetting realisation that my house are burgled, i refuse to let the burgler wreck my day. But guess wat is the biggest prob? Other ppl want me to feel depressed. My fren Jim found out and insist that i shd be disturbed. "I heard ur house are burgled. You must feel terrible". I said, "Jim u heard we are burgled and i guess u noe all the facts. U also noe that i like to put unpleasantness behind me as soon as i can, so thk u for ur concern and let me tell u abt something much more intersting......" Jim in turn tell more of my frens and they in turn gave the same reaction as Jim. Often others mean well but manage to help u feel worse. IT IS UP TO U TO DECIDE HOW YOU FEEL. Have u been working all day and someone say, "gee u must be tired!" Being tired is the last thing on ur mind till u are reminded. Ppl will tell u frm time to time, "U shd be upset," "Times are tough," "Life is a bummer," "Work is a pain in the neck." Tell yourself quietly, "That is their reality, and i respect it, and i may choose to talk with them about it - but i refuse to adopt it. I CHOOSE HOW I FEEL
2 comments:
hi, thanks, it is very helpful
could u help me more, i really want to read more. my email; baadka_his@yahoo.com
c ya
Hi you can buy the book at either MPH or Popular book store if u are from Malaysia. Cost about RM45. Or any book store that sell motivational and development book. The book title is called "Making Friends". The author is Andrew Matthews. The part 5 and 6 contains a lot more good facts. Its the longest chapter and I did not manage to compile them. Below link shows the cover of his book.
http://www.andrewmatthews.com/
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